Lisa Woodman: How the public runs afoul of the press……and then launches some kind of porn/reality TV career

24 01 2012
Headline of Lisa Woodman in "Worcester News"

"You want me to pose like a kurbside hooker? OK then!"

This morning social media is chattering away with the story of Lisa Woodman (28), mother of four who features in a story in her local news funnel saying that three local nightclubs have banned her from their quality establishments because she’s showing too much flesh.

Already the Jeremy Kyle viewer in all of us (and don’t pretend it isn’t in there, licking the gutter of your mind) is scoffing at her claim she is 28 (pictures do lie but her eyes tell a tale of woe and sadness), pouring scorn on her choice of clubwear (Anne Summers having a clear out then?) and that she should out at all with 4 children to look after (damn, what is she even doing outside the house without a male family member to escort her to the souk before prayer!!)

But let’s look again at this story with our tired, cynical eyes. Why would you compound your embarrassment at being denied entry to some sleazy Worcestershire club by running to the local rag with your shrill cries of agism? Fair play to the reporter for spinning a national news story out of what would have otherwise been an angry post of Lisa Woodman’s Facebook wall or a G & T soaked rant in the nearby Lloyds.

One wonders how naive Lisa Woodman must be to not realise the newspaper photographer positioning her in one of her classier numbers by the road and asking her to pose like she’s touting for business might not play in her favour. Needless to say the comments across our fair and nonjudgmental land have not been about the unfairness of Worcester clubland door policy. Either Lisa’s attempts to redress the injustice she felt by using the press (who only have their victims, feature’s best interests at heart) or she want’s the coverage and notoriety to get a slot on Babestation or the next Ben Dover adventure. Quite what her kids will think of all this (the oldest being 12 and probably already being hounded off the Internet) is anyone’s guess.

In the interests of balance (or just to squeeze more juice out of a story which has got them noticed in the Daily Mail and the Sun) Worcester News have posted a comment piece. Congratulating themselves on a sleazy story worthy of the Dark Lord Kyle himself the paper goes on to ask

It is not possible, however, to tolerate those who seek to draw conclusions about Miss Woodman’s lifestyle or morality simply by looking at her photograph.

…..a photograph which I presume (as it’s not a self shot duck-face on an iphone) was taken by the very newspaper which is now telling the baying mob not to be so judgmental on how a mother-of-four dresses on her “late night visits to adult establishments.”

The lesson from this? Next time you get grief from the door-whore for dressing “provocatively” take out on social media (and preferably under a pseudonym your kids won’t know about), don’t go to the local press who know how to spin a story for copy and play you like Jeremy Kyle would on a Monday morning.

"If your name's not on..."


Oh it just gets better. Within the space of 48 hours from a fluffy rant on a local newspaper
the Mirror goes with this new article.

So I guess my worries about some naive woman from the sticks being manipulated by the media
were unfounded. Miraculously a full photo-shoot with a theme and tacky Photoshop sparkles has sprung
up in a major tabloid. I wonder who her agent is?