Dark times indeed…..

8 09 2010

I’ve been quiet on the blogging front as late and that’s because I’ve had a lot on my mind. Valuable processing space that should be used to write stories of fantastic worlds, far-out critiques of modern life that career madly into musings on super-villany and pseudo-eloquent rants at a world gone mad have been given over to more pressing concerns.

Finding a job and place to live.

Where I’ve been staying since I’ve moved down to the Big City is to be demolished next week. My friend Emma (who is working hard to get a film studio up and running)and I knew this would happen eventually but we’ve had only three weeks notice and had hoped to have found gainful employment and funds by now.

We’re both on jobseekers, constantly trying to find a job, going to numerous interviews, employment agencies and the rest but to no avail. Now on top of the hand to mouth existence we’ve come to expect we now have to find a place to live. For her, she has a boyfriend to stay with but will have to sell most of her stuff as there is no space to keep it.

For me I have only two weeks grace on a friend’s couch before I have to find my own place. I can claim housing benefit but still need to find money for a deposit. I hope to find a two bedroom place in th East End with a recently found but lovely friend where we can live a humble but hopefully charming existence on the breadline until happier, more affluent times. But we need a deposit and to find a place that will take us.

Never before have I lived this close to oblivion, the worry of finding a place to live is keeping me awake at night and sucking the joy out of me. Never before has my fate hung in the balance of unknown bureaucracies, predatory letting agencies, Orwellian credit scoring databases and the charity of friends.

If things turn out well I can look back at this time as character building, maybe use the roller-coaster ride of emotions, the fear, the uncertainty as fuel for my continued London adventure.

If they don’t I’ll have to put the person I’ve become over the past few years into storage and return back to Northampton, a broken man (not a tranny) and have to sculk back to some past life that is no longer me.

Right now, after an exhausting day’s worth of phone calls and conversations in public offices I’m attempting to keep my sanity by a marathon of Big Bang Theory episodes, enjoying the nerdy antics and geeky references but at the back of my mind taking note all the characters have nice apartments and successful jobs. Right now I’d take social awkwardness over imminent homelessness and failure any day.

So yeah, that’s why I’ve been quiet. Normal service may be resumed in a few weeks or it may not.



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