10 Things you didn’t know about James Corden……

15 06 2010

"hey you guuuyyyyysssssss!!!"

  1. James Corden once absorbed a golden haired child in rage because she laughed at him as he accidentally fell down the stairs during a promotional event at the Thurrock Odeon. The child was later expelled from his mass after he was bribed with cocaine but has been unable to speak since.
  2. The former Russian submarine which ships in Corden’s cocaine deliveries was called the K-186 Omsk, decommissioned in 2008.
  3. In 2002 James Corden once met all three actresses of TV’s Birds of a Feather whilst at a friend’s BBQ. All photographs of that meeting were subsequently destroyed in a fire which killed 4.
  4. James Corden can walk and talk at the same time though often chooses not to.
  5. In 2007 James Corden once cried for seven hours straight after a practical joke he pulled on the set of Gavin & Stacey which involved the sexual humiliation of an extra was deemed “not funny” & “just wrong” by onlookers.
  6. Whilst writing Lesbian Vampire Killers in his flat in Islington 280 cats, 178 dogs, 167 rodents of varying species, 45 lizards, 17 rabbits, 5 parrotts and a Shetland pony went missing from their owners. Their bodies have never been found.
  7. James Corden speaks 17 languages all of which are ONLY spoken by him and when no-one else is around.
  8. In late 2009 James Corden and Lily Allen recorded a single together, but for some reason the release date has been scheduled for December 21st 2012.
  9. In 2005 James Corden had a surgical pouch implanted into his torso by Cuban doctors in which he keeps compromising photos of Matthew Horne, a list of old men he wishes to fight, keys to a lock-up in Romford and most recently a severed toe believed to have belonged to Gary Coleman.
  10. In 2008 the government of Columbia awarded James Corden the “Traducir Amigo del Pueblo Colombiano y las Empresas” in honour of his work for their economy.
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